“I went on a first date on Valentine’s Day. Yes, I realize now that’s never a good idea, but that year I just wanted to do something. We met up at a restaurant and the guy was really cute, so everything seemed to be in order. Then we sat down and he started looking around the restaurant at all the women with roses and bouquets of flowers. He began telling me how much he loves Valentine’s day and he was sad he didn’t get anything that year. Then he fell into a weird funk and became moody the rest of the evening. Was I supposed to run out and get him some roses?! I quickly imagined a life together where I’d have to spoon him and tell him how beautiful he looked. I wasn’t feeling it. Oh, other red flags: he mentioned that his favorite celebrities were Bett Midler and Ricky Martin!